Megsanity
Women, psychology and expletives.

"You're delusional! Did the voice inside your head tell you that?"

Last week, this was actually said to me during a disagreement, though I'll get to the why in a minute.

While I suspect, but am not certain, that I was the only one in the conversation who could read, I am very certain that I am the only one with a psychology blog where it would be completely appropriate to bridge such a topic.

Checkmate, motherfucker....  continue reading

In the past, those with Aspergers were often thought to have anxiety disorders or were simply labeled as “introverts”. Today, the inclusion of Aspergers is one of the main reasons for the rise in the numbers of those on the autism spectrum. 

Despite the fact that it is becoming more mainstream—thanks in large part to mother’s advocacy groups—Aspergers is often greatly misunderstood, particularly in adults. The traits associated with Aspergers can trigger social difficulties and inadvertently lead to anxiety and depression. Most are also unaware that Aspergers and other spectrum traits may have had great importance in our evolutionary history. Those on the spectrum may have thrived when the more social among us could not.

There are a number of strengths inherent in the Aspergers diagnosis, even if it is discouraging due to constant bombardment of how people are “supposed to” behave or feel. Understanding the symptoms, the benefits, and the treatments available may assist those who struggle with the symptoms of Aspergers as well as those who love them....  continue reading

The tendency to live in the past is an evolutionary imperative. Without some focus on what mistakes were made and who hurt us, we would have been less likely to survive as individuals over the long term. 

But if focusing on the past is sucking the fun out of your current life, it might be time to let it go like an orphaned Disney character with a rare medical condition. Except as opposed to freezing your emotions (or your damn house) you have to figure out how to not give a fuck. 

But how to not give a fuck without swallowing feelings and inadvertently messing yourself up more?...  continue reading

First things first: UNDERSTANDING DOES NOT EQUAL ABSOLUTION. I am not in any way making excuses for rapists, nor do I believe that men should be punished less severely based on their histories. Hell, in my fiction novels, Detective Petrosky is pretty happy fantasizing about cutting off the balls of rapists as a general rule. I have also gotten many emails from readers about Jim in Famished--including thanks for that novel's detailed insight into what led him to become a monster. 

But I'm writing this post today because I have treated many rape victims. And one VERY common question tends to be, “Why?” Not only, “Why me,” but also: “Why would someone think this is okay? Why are they so hateful?”

These are valid questions that often keep women up at night. And these questions might have an answer. For some survivors of rape, knowing the answer sufficed in solving a mystery that in turn helped them heal because they understood it. For others it merely satisfied curiosity but had little bearing on their healing.  Either way, useful. At the very least, in shedding some light on it, we may be in a better position to reduce it in the future. And I would retire happily never having to treat another rape victim. (I can dream, can’t I?)

So let’s get into this....  continue reading

Insomnia may be a byproduct of our evolution. I assume this is due to the fact that, as a mom, mother nature was up all night anyway checking on children and getting in some last minute “me time”. Or perhaps, more likely, we are more prone to arousal than to sleep for survival purposes. We can rise and become aggressive or anxious in moments as anyone who has awoken to a loud noise can attest. But we calm down slowly. Only those at the top of the food chain can rest during the day in plain view. 

Cocky ass lions. 

We need to be pickier about our rest than lions. Always have. This might be why circumstances and mental state need to be aligned in order to sleep. And depending on what forces are acting against you, you may treat the issue differently. Because trouble falling asleep, trouble staying asleep and broken sleep tend to have slightly different treatments, though there is some overlap. 

First things first: what needs to be in place for us to rest? I mean besides your husband NOT poking you for sex?...  continue reading

Every day, people use the phrase "OCD" to describe any number of behaviors, from being meticulous about appearance to the desire to get things completed a certain way: 

"I just cannot go to bed with dishes in the sink. I'm SO OCD." 

SPOILER ALERT: That ain't OCD (though it might be a different condition, so read on). 

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a lifelong condition that usually shows up during puberty or early adulthood and is identified by (you guessed it) obsessions and compulsions. OCD is equally likely to occur in men and women, and affects around 2% of the population¹. And it can be absolutely debilitating. This is not a "sink full of dishes" type concern. OCD can be a "I'm not leaving my house today because I'm too busy scrubbing my hands raw" kind of concern. 

Aside from the obsessions and compulsions, most with OCD tend to worry, usually about how worried and anxious they are. But make no mistake; whether they are seen as over-reactors, as overly sensitive or as obsessive, the whole thing is scary as fuck. I really think that phrase should be a part of the clinical definition of OCD, which is why they will never hire me to write that book, though I guarantee mine would be more entertaining to read. Maybe I will write my own, dammit....  continue reading