5 Reasons We Suck At New Year's Resolutions (And What To Do About It)

Friday, January 09, 2015 by Meg   •   Filed under General

Let’s be clear up front: this is not an article about how to stick wholeheartedly to your resolutions. I won’t tell you to set your alarm across the room so you can’t hit snooze if your goal is to work out every morning. I won’t tell you to throw out all the cookies in the house because you gave up sugar “from now on.” 

Plus, life without cookies? Puh-lease.  Screw that noise. 

Here’s the thing, guys: resolutions are bound to fail. Resolutions come and go partially because no one really expects that they will stay for any length of time. It’s the ultimate joke for many. 

“Oh, you resolved to give up yoga pants? See you at the grocery store wearing Yogi’s special in a week, girl.”

It’s not your fault, though. It’s the way we approach the goals that somehow became critical at the first of the year when we were still coming out of that sugar and carb coma that makes the holidays so damn delightful.

“SO MUCH SUGAR! Staring January first, I’m never eating sugar again!”

Except you will. You know it too....  continue reading

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself: Understanding Introversion and 8 ways to Cope With Social Obligations

Monday, December 15, 2014 by Meg   •   Filed under General

I have argued with a few people about whether or not I am an introvert. Because I, in no way, come off as “shy”. I’m confident. I will talk to anyone about anything and I have a tendency to be outspoken. The stage doesn’t bother me much and I have been known to do impromptu piano recitals in front of large groups of people.

But, I assure you, I am about as introverted as they come.

Introversion isn’t about shyness, though some introverts do feel very uncomfortable in larger groups. Shyness comes with discomfort, anxiety or fear, as explained by Schmidt and Buss in The Development of Shyness and Social Withdrawal1. Shyness is more a social status thing, a worry about what others might think, perhaps a throwback to the days when social conflict mattered more because it might have meant life or death

For me, worrying about what other people think is on my list entitled "Things Ain’t Nobody Got Time For". ...  continue reading

Reducing The Fear of "Wrong": Test Anxiety, Learning and the Importance of Attitude

Friday, October 10, 2014 by Meg   •   Filed under General

Some parents are pushing for the removal of testing from public schools, advocating for more child-centered models of learning that focus on creative exploration even in higher grades. 

But no tests. Because that shit is whack. 

While IQ tests and other standardized tools do have biases in terms of the type of intelligence being tested (which tends to vary worldwide), I think testing, if done correctly, can serve as a tool for learning. If you’ve ever used flashcards, games or asked your children questions related to a book they read, you’ve engaged in testing. 

Where we run into problems is how we conduct these tests and in our interpretation of what those tests mean. Because while testing might enhance learning for a few reasons I will get into below, those enhancements don’t work when you’re stressed the fuck out about what your grade is going to be. And test anxiety can thwart even the brightest person when it comes time to fill in the blanks. 

It’s not your fault, either, nor is it the fault of our children. It’s a function of how we see learning and how we see testing and how we see ourselves because of it. Let’s take a ride....  continue reading

MAOA What? The Genetic Link Between Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder

Wednesday, September 24, 2014 by Meg   •   Filed under General

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be a very difficult issue to deal with. It usually shows up as unstable or turbulent emotions, which may result in impulsivity and troubled relationships with others.

In the view of most psychotherapists, Borderline Personality Disorder often results from early environments steeped in fear of abandonment or abuse and neglect which leads to insecure attachment patterns. 

But this doesn’t mean genes don’t matter. Because like jeans that chafe when they don’t fit right, genes can irritate certain parts of your body and make them all out of whack until you break down and buy the infamous “mom jeans” or just settle for yoga pants like any reasonable person would. 

Wait…no, that’s not right. Genes just mess with your brain and make you more susceptible to these conditions. Okay, that makes more sense. But your inside genes and your outside jean-wearing environment work together to trigger disorder....  continue reading

Why We're Breeding Psychopaths: The Benefits of Psychopathy, Triggers to Aggression and the Future of Humanity

Monday, September 08, 2014 by Meg   •   Filed under General

As discussed in the last post, there are a number of traits that define psychopathy and a wide continuum on which those traits can come out.  In general, psychopaths are known for a lack of empathy, charm/charisma and serial killing, not exactly a stellar stereotype. But psychopaths possess a number of traits that have made them historically beneficial to the human race.

I know. You still think I've lost my damn mind. But bear with me. 

Today, many in the general population seem to believe that psychopathy evolved as an adaptation to be a type of "super predator". When faced with food shortages or otherwise harsh conditions, psychopaths would have been able to murder tribe mates, steal resources and rape at will, free of guilt or remorse. Bad for humanity, probably even at the time.

But, this theory is incomplete. You don't need to be Rico fucking Suave to brutally murder the neighbor's mother for her Ramen noodles, although I suppose sexy abs might make people think twice before lynching you. In our ancestral past, there were probably a number of different early conditions that led to the development of psychopathic-like traits, not all of which include genetic predisposition to super predator violence. And though there are subgroups with psychopathy and violent tendencies, current studies support the idea that violence is a trait that cannot be generalized to the entire psychopathic population9

Today, we are moving beyond the idea of super predator as more and more research is showing us that it is not so much the psychopathy that makes someone violent, but another gene or set of genes that can manifest at the same time. But the violent traits linked to these specific genes may only be expressed in the presence of certain environmental factors. Instead of aggression being a symptom, violent psychopaths may emerge due to the way we treat our children and one another. (For more behind the scenes insight into this, check out Famished by yours truly. If you love psychos, you'll love it.)

It's just one more reason to avoid being a dick....  continue reading

What is a Psychopath? The Traits, The Brains and The Benefit of Psychopathy

Friday, September 05, 2014 by Meg   •   Filed under General

“She showed him a picture of a frightened face and asked him to identify the emotion. He said he didn’t know what the emotion was, but it was the face that people pulled just before he killed them.” 1 

This is the idea we have in our head of psychopaths, the Jeffery Dahmers of the world. But what if I told you that psychopaths are just another version of normal, people with a brain condition they cannot control? 

This is not an incredibly popular stance to take, and with good reason: as a society we are taught that psychopaths are dangerous individuals. This is not generally the case. You have almost certainly met a few in your life, and at least some of them slipped under your radar with no harm to those in the vicinity.

Not that it's your fault for being unaware; those with psychopathic personalities don't show many obvious signs. They don't hear voices, they don't talk to themselves, they don't seem nervous. Plus, not everyone with psychopathic traits is a true balls-to-the-wall psychopath, though many do display behaviors that create conflict or risk, particularly in relationships.

That's right, balls-to-the-wall. It's a clinical term....  continue reading