Why We Need Maury Povich: Sexual Selection, Trust and Misunderstanding

Monday, June 16, 2014 by Meg   •   Filed under Sexuality/Relationships

How did you choose your lover? Sexual selection is more than a choice of position, though that is by far the most fun definition. 

"Tonight's sexual selection shall be....the reverse cowgirl."

In evolutionary psychology, sexual selection refers to the idea that specific traits evolved over time for the purpose of attracting a  mate, and not for survival. Examples in the animal kingdom would include the dancing ability of a bird, or bright colors on a frog.  

However, for humans, sexual selection does not stop at the physical. With the development of higher order cognitive functioning, and more complex social interaction, came other criteria for mate choice....  continue reading

"You're Not Pretty (Enough)": The Media, Low Self Esteem, Porn and Rush Limbaugh

Monday, May 12, 2014 by Meg   •   Filed under Sexuality/Relationships

The subconscious mind is one sneaky bastard.

Advertisers are well aware of this fact, spending obscene amounts of money on ad campaigns devoted to encouraging viewers to buy their products. Even restaurants embrace certain color schemes that subconsciously trigger hunger responses.

All of this pandering is very effective. Our brain is able to trick us into all kinds of things, especially when we don't know what it is we're responding to. 

But, it is more than just a drive to purchase. The way we see our world, and those around us, may change the way we think about ourselves....  continue reading

The Big O: What You Need To Know About Sexual Frustration and Overall Happiness

Monday, March 24, 2014 by Meg   •   Filed under Sexuality/Relationships

The functioning of our bodies, especially our sexual responsiveness, is tied directly to our autonomic nervous system. The hormones produced in response to this system can trigger panic or orgasmic bliss. But which one you get may depend on your past experiences and how much satisfaction you've been enjoying.

"But you said size doesn't matter!"

So, here's the quick and dirty (heh): hormones like oxytocin are necessary for sexual functioning, from progression of labor to the Big O. Oxytocin is responsible for bonding, both with children and with partners, which may be one reason that having a lot of sex tends to restore connections between partners, increase attachment and decrease insecurities1. Enough oxytocin pushes us over the edge into orgasm....  continue reading

Mistakes Your Brain May Be Making: How Anxiety Can Cause Love

Friday, March 14, 2014 by Meg   •   Filed under Sexuality/Relationships

According to Sheena Iyengar, Columbia University's leading expert on decision making,  the human brain is fraught with ways for things to get a little mixed-up. Like love and fear. Which is awesome because it's another reason for S&M and sexual role playing to be written off as a normal biological experience.

Bring on the handcuffs....  continue reading

Secrets Every Married Woman Should Know: What Penis Size Can Teach Us About Monogamy

Monday, February 10, 2014 by Meg   •   Filed under Sexuality/Relationships

We prize sharing in theory, but nowhere near the extent of our nomadic ancestors who shared food, resources and mates among them like a socialist hippie commune.The egalitarian--or equal--structure of most early nomadic societies relied on both men and women for survival. This equality--along with cooperative caretaking patterns--allowed for sexual expression that favored multiple partner mating.

In other words, we reared our children in big cooperative groups, and lifelong monogomy wasn't really a priority, or a benefit. Switching partners was the norm.  

And there is still a part of our brain that craves this....  continue reading

How Healthy Are Your Boundaries? Understanding Personal Boundary Styles to Build Better Relationships

Friday, January 24, 2014 by Meg   •   Filed under Sexuality/Relationships

When children are small, it's almost as if you're one person, the lines between you and them blurring as you spend your day tending to another's needs. A few years later, when you find them rummaging through your purse for the car keys, those boundaries are far more defined.

Boundaries are something we actively do and adjust. Because of this, it may be hard to decide when your boundaries are being breached.

Except with that car keys thing. 

"Get out of my shit, punk!"

Do you feel victimized? Guilty? Overwhelmed? It may be time to check out your personal boundaries and decide how well they are working for you....  continue reading