"I Hate Him." How to Make Marriage Work

Tuesday, June 13, 2017 by Meg   •   Filed under Sexuality/Relationships

“We used to be so happy.”

“He’s not the same person I married.”

“I just don’t…know anymore.”

You’ve been together a little while, huh? At first it was perhaps just a physical issue, a lack of attraction, of sexual desire, especially after the kids. But now it’s more than that. You see that the things you once found endearing are super annoying. 

“OH DEAR GOD WHY DOES HE CHEW LIKE THAT?!” 

“Did I just step on a fucking toenail clipping?”

But it’s more than passing annoyance. You think that perhaps you have outgrown your partner, that maybe he stayed the same while you gleaned what you needed and matured. Why are you still there with all this stress? You don’t want to stay only for the kids, do you? And yet, you must have been into him at some point. Maybe you could be again. But do you even want to?...  continue reading

Top 10 Ways To Treat Postpartum Depression

Tuesday, May 09, 2017 by Meg   •   Filed under Postpartum Depression


May is officially Postpartum Depression Awareness month. And while there probably should be an official Postpartum Anxiety month, or a Postpartum OCD month, or a Postpartum  Psychosis month, we'll do the best we can with what we've got. Because no matter what's plaguing you after childbirth, you are not alone.  

Postpartum depression affects between ten and twenty percent of new mothers. While there are several different theories about cause (discussed here and here), treatment is available to women faced with this condition. In a comprehensive review, published in the "International Journal of Women's Health", researchers identified both traditional and experimental therapies that may be effective for women suffering from postpartum depression1....  continue reading

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Your Brain, and How to Treat OCD

Tuesday, April 11, 2017 by Meg   •   Filed under Treatment Techniques

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder evolved as a means of protection, a valuable system in times past to increase our chances of survival (more on this in The Evolution of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Postpartum OCD, and Obsessive Personalities.)

But just because it made us more likely to survive then, doesn’t mean it does jack shit to help us now. And if you have OCD, you probably don’t care what made it awesome then. You want to know why it’s happening to you and how the fuck you can make it stop.

I have answers. Let’s do it. (That’s what she said…or maybe what he said.)...  continue reading

It's Not Me. It's My OCD: The Evolution of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Postpartum OCD, and Obsessive Personalities

Tuesday, March 07, 2017 by Meg   •   Filed under General


Every day, people use the phrase "OCD" to describe any number of behaviors, from being meticulous about appearance to the desire to get things completed a certain way: 

"I just cannot go to bed with dishes in the sink. I'm SO OCD." 

SPOILER ALERT: That ain't OCD (though it might be a different condition, so read on). 

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a lifelong condition that usually shows up during puberty or early adulthood and is identified by (you guessed it) obsessions and compulsions. OCD is equally likely to occur in men and women, and affects around 2% of the population1. And it can be absolutely debilitating. This is not a "sink full of dishes" type concern. OCD can be a "I'm not leaving my house today because I'm too busy scrubbing my hands raw" kind of concern. 

Aside from the obsessions and compulsions, most with OCD tend to worry, usually about how worried and anxious they are. But make no mistake; whether they are seen as over-reactors, as overly sensitive or as obsessive, the whole thing is scary as fuck. I really think that phrase should be a part of the clinical definition of OCD, which is why they will never hire me to write that book, though I guarantee mine would be more entertaining to read. Maybe I will write my own, dammit....  continue reading

How I Finally Conquered My Panic Attacks (and you can too)

Tuesday, February 28, 2017 by Meg   •   Filed under Anxiety

We all acquire anxiety issues a little differently. We all get through things a little differently as well.  Some use cognitive behavioral skills, including humor techniques, deep breathing, thought replacement, self compassion, mindfulness and vocalized defensiveness to get through their panic attacks or scary thoughts. Today my guest poster takes you on her journey towards healing. 

By: Misty Browne

As I step out of the SUV at the airport, my boss’s mother asks me if I’m feeling OK. 

“I’m fine, just a little under the weather,” I respond. 

In line for security I get the same question as the wand runs across my body. I nod and move on. By the time I’m at my gate I can’t breathe. I rush to the bathroom. “Maybe I’m getting the flu,” I tell myself. I splash cold water on my face. Outside of being a touch pale, the mirror reflects green eyes and brown hair falling neatly over my shoulders, the same as always. But I feel different. I feel like I’m going to die. I can’t breathe and my heart is pounding so hard I can hear it....  continue reading

"I'm Not in the Mood." The Usual Decline of Sexual Interest (and what do do about it)

Tuesday, February 14, 2017 by Meg   •   Filed under Sexuality/Relationships

“I just want a quickie.”  

“I feel used.” 

“I think we should have sex more often.” 

“I think you need to show me more emotional support first.”

“How about just a blow job?” 

“How about a back rub?”

“Why do you always want sex?”

“Why don’t you want it more?”

“God, I’m just so…bored.”

Sound familiar? If you're like thousands of other couples this Valentine's Day, you might be having one of these conversations. We can't all be like Shannon and Morrison in my second novel, Conviction. (Rawr.)

Sexual issues come up often in relationship counseling, and they can be tricky to tease apart, unlike your husband’s legs. (Ba dum dum, ching). While sexual activity is at a peak in early relationships, it tends to decline over time. But why? We surely love our spouse more now than we do when we met them, don’t we?

Why would our sexual desire so reliably go down (and not in the fun way)? There are quite a few reasons, and obviously all of them cannot be discussed in one post. But while this isn’t a universal truth for everyone, there are a few, very common reasons for a loss of desire. And while I will be addressing the ladies here only because I more often see couples where women have lower drives, keep in mind that these roles can be reversed. 

Come with me. (heh) Let’s check this out....  continue reading